Stark Nude
by lezonne
Summary: Harry and Ron catch a terrifying glimpse of Draco. Hermione can't tolerate the conversations that ensue. Quidditch League Finals Round 1 story.


Written for the Quidditch League Fanfiction Competition Finals Round 1. I used the prompts 1 (blush), 6 (bleeding) and 8 (aquamarine).

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><p>"Of all the ridiculous things you have ever done-"<p>

"This is within the top three? Come off it Granger, I know that you don't like my games."

Hermione shook her head, taking in the image of the man before her. He was nothing but a pompous git, strutting around in the dorm stark naked. It was a wonder her friends didn't die when they caught sight of him.

"This is half my dorm," he continued, arching a delicate eyebrow. "I can wander around as nude as I please. It's technically your mistake for telling your friends our password. You didn't think that would ever come back and bite you in the arse when we hooked up? Honestly, the least you could have done is change the password as to avoid such odd circumstances."

"Don't even _try_ to pin this on me," she replied back hotly. "You can't just prance around here willy-nilly. What if one of _your_ friends spotted you gallivanting around like that in here?"

"It would depend on the friend."

She practically screamed, gripping her hair at the prat's natural ability to annoy her. "That's too much for me, Malfoy. I believe we had an agreement when we started this whole thing up."

"I wasn't supposed to fu-"

"_Draco_."

He sighed, knowing that tone of voice. "I'm not supposed to _sleep_ with anyone else while we're together. You're afraid of catching someone from one of the Slytherin girls here?"

"Terribly," she replied, wrinkling her nose. "Now, back to the point. It's going to be hard to explain to Harry and Ron later why I was particularly okay with you wandering around as such, especially since I was… well-"

"Drooling," he interrupted with a smirk. "You were drooling all over me, as though you haven't seen all of it before."

Her cheeks colored considerably. "I was not!"

"I'm sure that's what those two nit-wits thought it looked like. I've never seen you blush so red Granger, even to some of the things I say to you. It was amusing, I'll give you that."

"It was somewhat mortifying."

"Pft! You can't tell me you felt mortified _before _they opened the door, since you were practically ready to-"

"Enough!" she snapped, shaking a finger at him. Her aquamarine blouse lit up her tanned skin, and despite her fury and slightly red cheeks she looked pretty damn hot at the moment. Problem was he was starting to pay attention to pouty lips instead of what she was saying.

"…measures to ensure it won't happen again. Malfoy- are you even listening to me?"

"Hmm? Oh yes, something about listening."

The brunette sighed, running fingers through her knotted hair. She supposed it was only pure dumb luck that her friends didn't stop by a half hour earlier, when they were busy with something that might internally scar Harry and Ron for life had they seen. Hermione could imagine it, their eyes bleeding from the sight of two naked bodies being so close together.

They might also have to kill Malfoy if they found out. Accepting the prat was not a realistic thought. Hermione wasn't entirely sure they would ever accept him, granted the groups history with Mr. Ferret-Boy, but she optimistically hoped that they might understand if she just broke the news at the right moment.

"Never mind," she sighed, shaking her head. "I can't change the password though. Then my friends might think I'm hiding something."

"I'm not sure they will come up here unannounced again after that," he replied with a cheeky grin. "I mean, if you walked in on a stark naked Weasel-"

"Would you just shut up?"

"Wait- never mind. That's a terrible comparison. One might die at the sight of that."

"Would you quit it?" she huffed, glaring at his shirtless upper half. "You don't need to be so rude and pick on Ron. That's just childish antics."

"Are you calling me childish?" he joked, lazily balancing his wand on his hand. "If we're talking childish here, then Weasel-"

"Leave him alone," she sighed. "Honestly, can't you just grow up and stop picking on my friends? Except for a few slip ups I've stopped insulting yours. You could at least try to extend the same courtesy to me."

"You want me to grow up?" he asked, eyebrows shooting up. "You don't think that after all of our experiences that I have 'grown up' yet?"

"Gods Malfoy, not like that! Quit twisting everything!" He laughed when her cheeks colored again. "Growing up is part of becoming an adult. Your body might be beyond adolescence, but your mind is still certainly rooted in your teen years."

He shook his head, disregarding most of what she was saying, muttering to himself instead. "'Growing up? Pfft. Who wants to do that?"

"Obviously not you," she replied, having hard his under the breath comment. "Now, I'm going to go and see my friends and see if we can't make amends after that _disaster_. Maybe while I'm gone you can try thinking of ways of discussing my friends without promptly insulting them."

"Now you're just asking for something impossible darling."

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><p>Hermione found her friends late that night in the Gryffindor common room, both looking a little green in the face as they ignored a game of wizard's chest set before them. She walked up to the pair easily, the room empty at the late hour.<p>

Ron looked up first, blanking then going a violent shade of red. "Hermione!"

"Ronald- yes? What's wrong?"

"Are you alright?" he asked, extending a hand of comfort. "We saw-"

"Please let's not mention it," Harry piped up from across the table. "We can just skirt around the very unpleasant part of this conversation if you don't mind."

Hermione was more than relieved to hear her friend say such a thing, though Ron was less happy about dropping the subject. "Oi, that wanker is a prat. I mean honestly Hermione, he's wandering about with you right there like-"

"Ron let it go," she said immediately, eyebrows shooting skyward. "I told him to not pick on the two of you and you should extend the same courtesy."

"I will do no such thing," he grunted, crossing his arms stubbornly.

She sighed, glancing between the two boys; one stubborn and one uncomfortable. Surprisingly, she found herself repeating an earlier statement. "Can't you grow up Ron and let petty comments go? The two of you always have something to say to each other."

"That's because-"

"I already know Ron," she sighed again, shaking her head. "At least try this growing up business. It's good for the soul- the _adult_ soul."

He frowned, an expression that surprisingly mirrored Malfoy's. "'Growing up? Pfft. Who wants to do that anyway?"

_~FIN~_


End file.
